B-H
In my teenage years, I used to have friends who lived in the
tenement house adjacent to mine. My family had just moved to the big city and the
first pals I met there, were those boys. They appeared to be from a nice family,
educated and rather well-to-do, as far as Communism allowed. They were good
looking and had excellent manners.
But I was soon to learn that all those qualities were only
surface-deep.
If any window glass got broken in the neighborhood, they
were behind it. If someone woke up one morning to find that his car has been
scratched with a nail, one of the younger brothers was probably the culprit. If
school furniture or instruments got damaged, chances were that one of them had
done it. Moreover, if something was stolen in the vicinity, there was a big
probability that the owner could find it in their basement. They asked me many
times to be their watchman, in case someone found out about their escapades.
However, when the parents of these boys got called to the
school or were even visited by the local police officers, the boys need not have
worried, because they were protected. They were protected by something which people
might call ‘blind paternal love.’ Whether or not such an emotion was beneficial
to the children, we will analyze B-H soon.
The parents would swear by all the saints, raise their arms in
incredulity and claim that ‘Their boys? Their treasures? Their well-mannered
and beautiful sons? They could not possibly do anything wrong. Impossible! It
could not have been them!'
I didn’t hang out with them for too long, because somehow I
aspired to higher ideals that could not mesh with that lifestyle. But the boys
were still my neighbors, so for the next few years I observed how their lives
rolled steadily downhill, unstopped by those who were supposed to guard them. The
parents failed to protect them, not from the hostility of the world, but from
their own evil urges. They ended up as common criminals. And the degree of their
criminality only increased over time, as the younger one was the worst miscreant
of all. He just permitted himself more than his life role models, his older
brothers.
When I analyze this story, which I witnessed with my own
eyes, I came to a certain belief. It was not the boys whom the parents were
protecting. It was the image of themselves which they cherished in their hearts
and minds; an image of self-love and self-righteousness, which just did not
allow them to see anything wrong with their family. That is what they
protected. That is what they really defended.
The obvious conclusion of this story is that if they would
have distanced themselves somewhat from their offspring, if they would really
have loved their children instead of their self-image, if they would have corrected
the crooked paths of their boys, they would have saved them from destruction.
A little bit of awareness, some modesty and truth, may have
been unpleasant in the short run, but would certainly have been helpful in the
long run.
What I’m going to write may sound bitter, especially when
written by a convert who, by the nature of things, is always suspected of not
only being uneducated on matters of Yiddishkeit but also lacking in Jewish self-consciousness
and perhaps Ahavas Yisroel.
No matter how much I prove otherwise, there will always be
some who accuse me of such. But I will try.
I became a Jew in the most anti-Semitic country in the world
after WWII, in a community where aveira was far more common than Mitzvah. Personally,
I was later Gegavened even by some frum people. I could go on much longer, but
this should be enough. Still, I say and I believe “Mi Kamochu Bagoyim K'Yisruel”
– There is no nation among the nations like Yisruel.
I love every Yid and it makes no difference to me when I
have the opportunity to help any of my brothers, any member of my Jewish family.
Not even when he represents total moral failure or an ideology that contravenes
the Torah which I believe.
Justification for this is simple. He must not be aware of
what he is missing, and probably it is not his own rejection of Torah but what
he was taught by other evildoers that causes him or her to be irreligious. He
never tasted the sweetness of real Yidishkeit and the only way to make it accessible
to him is through brotherly love and active help on a personal level.
It is prohibited, however, according to the teachings of
Chazal as was explained by the Chasam Sofer and Rav SH.R. Hirsch, to be engaged
on any level with a group calling itself Jewish, but which is not representing the
Jewish way of life.
It is extremely painful to repeatedly see how some of us, religious
Jews, publicly defend acts that are committed by members of our family which do
no represent what we are about and what our Jewish mission is in the world.
Quite the opposite! Actions which are contradictory to our
laws and our values can sometimes cause physical and moral destruction to
creation. Worse still, they can cause others to follow in their footsteps. Subconsciously,
goyim believe that if the Jews can do an avaira, they can too. Unwittingly, we
are the world's compass. If the Chosen Nation, called by the holy name, commits
a crime or an atrocity, the goy in his mind and conscience permits himself to
do the same or worse.
A really evil act, even one perpetrated by a Jew, is
recognized by the Gentile as such because certain evils are self-evident. For
those deeds, the evildoer will be held solely responsible at the time of Final
judgment. But for the impression of
permissiveness in a sin; for the bad example that our misbehavior sets for the
world, we have no defense. Those misdeeds will be held on our account. As
Mamleches Kohanim – a Kingdom of Priests
Too often, unfortunately, the Nations follow our renegades
instead of our righteous.
It is said that at least some of our misdeeds are also
committed under the bad influence of the nations. This is true. But still, who is
supposed to lead in this game called history?
When other people question the misbehaviors of our own
Jewish family who represent the betrayal of what we treasure most, Torah and
Mitzvois, some of us defend them. Is this right?
I will not even mention the topic of Mesira, which is the most
self-defeating act that can pervade our circles. We should always bear in mind
how harshly the Torah forbids it, and be aware that there are strict halachic
rules regarding this issue.
Let us look together into the Talmud, the protective walls of
our nation. Let us examine what our position should be, when the sins of our
fellow Jews are committed in public. These avairos are sinful by any standards,
including rule Dina De Malchusa Dina – the rule of the country where we live is
our rule. DDMD applies as long as it is not openly in opposition to the Revealed
Truth.
Yoma 86b in the middle of the page: "Rav Yehuda said
that Rav contrasted the following verses. On the one hand it is written: ‘Fortunate
is one whose transgression is forgiven, when sin is concealed.’ But on the
other hand it is written: ‘One who conceals his sins will not succeed.’ This is
not a difficulty, says the Gemura. The second verse, which objects to the concealment
of wrongdoing, deals with a sin that is already widely known.” Rashi elucidates:
“When people discover that someone sinned, the honor of Heaven is diminished.”
When a Jew transgresses any commandment of the Torah, and
knowledge of it becomes public, it creates Hilul Hashem which is by many accounts
the worst part of the sin itself.
On the same page of Gemura the fascinating topic continues
in the last Beraisa:
“We expose hypocrites, for otherwise a desecration of the Name
might ensue.”
The Talmud says specifically that when a person pretends to
be a righteous, for example by calling himself with the holy name “Jew” but acting
with behavior that is antithetical to the positive characteristics ascribed to
Jews, we must call that what it is – a sin.
Chazal is teaching us in many places, that it was never the
intention of our Torah to whitewash even our fathers and our greatest of teachers.
They were indeed righteous but if they failed even on their own level, it revealed
their human character. It showed that the Torah was not given to humans who are
made of superior material, but to simple flesh and blood like our own. In other
words, their behaviors should motivate us. For if it was possible for the greatest
people from the pages of the Torah to uphold the commandments, so it is
possible for us.
Any effort to whitewash their mistakes would bring the opposite
result than what was intended. That is exactly what happens when we try to whitewash
something that is obvious to everybody around us, including ourselves. But we conveniently
make ourselves believe that the whole act, event or situation was different
than the reality.
It is highly desirable to find explanations and sometimes
even justifications for our fellow family members; as long as they do not perpetrate
a crime against intellect.
There are always plenty of anti-Semites, including those
from our fold, who are waiting to amplify any Jewish misbehavior. And if those misbehaviors
don't exist they will fabricate ugly stories to pin on the Jew. For this kind
of false accusations we should always be ready to defend our people and our
values.
If, however, in the false attempt to defend the indefensible
we are adding lie to the sin, we cause Desecration of The Name – Hilul Hashem
of even greater proportions.
It is highly required to defend our brother or sister if we
bring him to do Tshuva. However, without realization of sin Tshuva is impossible.
If we try to defend only our self-image at the price of our fellow Jew not
being informed about his transgressions, we do not really help him. We only
lead him toward further destruction.
Besides that, there are those of our as-yet-irreligious brothers
who will not understand what our ‘good’ intention was. They will see only a
defense of sin, which will make sin seem permissible to them.
Our condoning is a disservice to our fellow Yid who
transgresses. If we repaved his path back to the heights of real Jewishness, we
would enable more members of our family to follow the path of righteousness
instead of going astray. Ultimately, whitewashing will only bring blemish to
the holy nation and disrespect to our G-d.
Love cannot be blind. Real love is not that which is
directed toward ourselves.
First Emes, then Shuloim, as the Nuvi directs - in this
sequence. Because without truth, there cannot be peace.
Matys Weiser
